Suffering and Liberation

The dynamics of suffering are addressed by Thich Nhat Hanh in "The heart of buddha's teaching". The idea of suffering is not foreign to humanity as a whole; the world has seen immense amounts of death, despair, war, and hardship. The Buddha spent his life teaching suffering as a means of liberation, by which we can become free, and he taught that we can recognize our own suffering, and transform it into peace and joy (Hanh, 3). The great teacher emphasized that only after one has suffered can he or she enjoy the elements of paradise (Hanh, 4). Hanh also mentions in the book that "Buddha only wants us to recognize suffering when it is present and to recognize joy when suffering is absent" (21) if one dwells on their suffering, they will surely miss paradise. Buddha's teaching of the four noble truths are something to practice and realize, in order to grow. The first truth is suffering, the second is the origin of suffering, followed by ending the suffering (healing is possible), and finally, the fourth truth is refraining from doing things that cause us from suffering (Hanh, 9-11). 

My Yiayia and Papou at their 50th anniversary party

My life has been free of suffering for the most part, however this summer my grandfather passed away, which was the first time I experienced this sort of pain. His death was sudden, and it was extremely hard for my entire family. I was very upset for a while, and I still am, but in the days immediately following his passing, I could not help but feel joy for the wonderful life my grandfather lived. He was truly a wonderful man, and he touched the lives of so many. He taught me what it meant to be a good person, and how to live a meaningful life. While I mourned his loss, I could not help but celebrate his rich life. It is often said that everyone dies, but it is rare that people truly live. In my grandfathers case, he certainly lived.  I think the lesson to be learned in death is that life is for the living, and that is something I can certinaly appreciate from the loss of my grandfather. 

Another, less drastic example of suffering in my life is caused by disunity on my dads side of the family. My dad and my aunt had a falling out a few years ago and it has caused some problems with both of our families. On one hand I know that there is a good reason why my dad does not want to have a relationship with my aunt anymore, but on the other hand she has never wronged me directly. There are many examples of these falling outs with my aunt and several other members of my family, therefore I should be able to identify a pattern, and try to prevent the inevitable suffering between she and myself. One problem with cutting ties with her is that I would also have to cut ties with my cousins, which is why I continue the relationship with my aunt. According to the fourth noble truth, I should refrain from doing the things that cause me suffering. Which is to say that I should remove the toxic people from my life and surround myself with the other loving members of my family. 

There are many aspects of my daily life that give it meaning, but the greatest of them must be my family and friends. I stay in touch as best as possible with my friends (and of course keep in touch with family). My life is given more meaning by helping others and making them happier, whether they be the friends and family I hold close or just helping a stranger I will probably never see again. I haven’t been taught this by a religion (my parents did not raise me religiously), but I believe strongly in the concept of Karma, a theory focused on by the Buddhist religion which states that your actions, positive or negative, will eventually come back to you. My career aspirations also give my life meaning, so my daily decisions are driven towards that aspiration, along with assisting others and enjoying the company of friends and family.

A good life is being able to live with minimal stress. Being able to live a long, healthy life where I do not have to worry about being able to pay bills on time or worry about being able to afford necessities in life, while giving my time and extra money back to the community to attempt to help others, and hopefully have them “pay it forward”.  I also feel that to live “the good life”, you must truly enjoy your career choice, as you will spend the majority of your life there. I don’t believe there is one road to the good life; I feel that everyone must do what they truly enjoy to enjoy their own life.  As relativism states, just because it is not the choice you would make, "... there are other equally prosperous ways of doing things, but that we just happened to settle on one of them." (Blackburn 21)

I don’t believe that there is one theory that is correct, but rather a combination of many theories and ethical concepts. Relativism, Egoism, and Kantianism all play a role, along with the theory of Karma. I feel that people should allow others to do “their own thing” and live their own life, but that should not include allowing people to act severely unethical (ex. Sacrifice or killing of other humans).  I feel that others should attempt to better themselves, without harming others by acting selfishly, as egoism states. I also agree with Kant that people should “act out of good will,” (Salazar 2) and should not feel obligated to assist anyone else, but rather should do it because it’s what they believe is right. Finally, I believe in Karma and that your actions will cause an equivalent action back on yourself in the future. 

Where I've Been, Where I am, and Where I'm Going

The main idea that has always given my life meaning: the opportunity to be educated. I grew up in an unhealthy family environment. So I always threw myself into my schoolwork and seized every opportunity to learn something new. I did this for two reasons. First, I did it because I knew that getting a good education was my best option to have a better life someday. I knew that if I did well in school, I would be more likely to get a better job and start a different life. This may seem very basic, but this was my goal since elementary school. The second reason was established as I aged. I believe that by being educated, I can present the best version of myself to the world and be able to do some good in the lives of others. As Kantians believe, "there are duties that people owe to themselves, such as developing their talents, as well as duties owed to others, such as being charitable" (Salazar 1392). By furthering my education, I am developing my knowledge and skills for a future career. Therefore, I can have more resources with which I can help those around me.

I believe that living a good life would be one in which myself and those who are close to me are happy. I do not wish to only make myself happy. I do not wish to only make myself happy, because there are very few material things in this world, if any at all, that can make someone singularly happy. This can be linked to the Utilitarian idea that "one should not be self-interested very often" (Salazar 1393). If you only pursue your own self-interest, you can never be truly happy. It is easy to feed off the energy of others, and it is better if that energy is positive. I hope that I can especially help people in ways that I was helped during the hard times of my life. 

There is one specific principle that I try to focus my life around: the idea of being fair. I do not like it when people are treated unfairly. To me, it is a basic human right to be treated justly in any situation. You should treat people fairly because you would want the same. This is the "Golden Rule" or Categorical Imperative (Blackburn 117). But every situation is also a matter of opinion. So it can often be difficult to determine what is the actual best course of action. I would like to be able to apply my views on fairness when I become a teacher someday. I would like to run a classroom in which all students are treated fairly, there is no favoritism, and the grades and workload are fair. 

Suffering Is Vital To Achieve Happiness

         In Buddhist ethics, suffering is the center of how to open up your heart. "Suffering is the means the Buddha used to liberate himself, and it is also the means by which we can become free" (Hahn 3). This quote summarizes how Buddhist ethics arose and work. When we suffer and realize and pinpoint exactly what the suffering is, only then can we act. When we find out what caused the suffering, we can plan an action to counteract the suffer and turn it into happiness. This principle directly relates to a life situation that I bet not only I have been a part of. 

Relationships Can Be a Cause of Suffering

           After a rough break-up, I had to really figure out what exactly was bothering me. It took me a long time to figure that out, and during that time my mood never got better. Once I figured it all out in my head, exactly what was bothering me, it opened up my heart again for happiness in which I acted on. But this ideology is vague and broad, to specify suffering in Buddhist ethics we must look at the Four Noble Truths.

           More specifically, the Four Noble Truths show us how suffering correlates in Buddhist ethics. The First Noble Truth is flat out suffering. Happiness doesn't exist without suffering, a point that is boldly made throughout Buddhist ethics. The Second Noble Truth is how the suffering arose to be an issue within your heart. The answer to this MUST be answered to move on. The Third Noble Truth is stopping the actions that cause the suffering. This real truth of this truth is that healing is very achievable, and not impossible by any means. The Fourth Noble Truth and final one is the "path that leads to refraining from doing things that cause us to suffer" (Hahn 11). This truth is by far the most important in making sure we don't suffer again. As a crude example, it is one thing to stop a drug addition, but the real hard part is to get rid of it completely and refrain from the suffering, even during hard times.

          

           Luckily my life has not had any repeated suffering enough to portray this Fourth Noble Truth, but the drug addiction example is a prime example of how repeated cessation of drug use is the hard part, not just stopping for one day or even one month. The Chinese translate this truth as the "'Path of Eight Right Practices': Right View, Right Thinking, Right Speech, Right Action, Right Livelihood, Right Dilligence, Right Mindfulness, and Right Concentration" (Hahn 11). I like this translation because it really portrays the complexity and utmost importance of this Fourth Noble Truth to our lives with all the different aspects in our life in that one quote. There is no such thing as peace if there was no such thing as suffering.

Drug Abuse is A Good Example of the 4th Noble Truth

Let's Live A Good Life

Everybody lives a little differently; different things have more or less importance and no two people will have the exact same life goals and life morals. Some people live to please others, and some people live solely

to please themselves. I have always been the type of person that will put others before myself. I thrive off of other peoples' happiness. My friends and my family are definitely the top things that give my life real meaning. Without them, I would have nothing and I wouldn't be the person I am today. Another thing that gives my life meaning are my morals. Certain things that I believe in, such a gay rights and treating others how you want to be treated, are extremely important to me and contribute to what I consider "the good life". 

I believe that "the good life" is a life that you can tell others about and just be proud of. The good life is one that may not be perfect, but one that makes you happy, and at the end of the day, makes others happy too. The good life is one that fulfills your life goals and dreams, even though it may be a tough road to get there. In my opinion, a good life does not revolve around money and wealth. Happiness and health for yourself and your loved ones should be more important than being able to buy expensive material items. Some people will always believe that without money, happiness ceases to exist. I believe that is only if you let it happen that way. Although wealth does make certain aspects of life easier, there are many other things in life that should be more important and contribute more to living a good life.

One other thing that I believe greatly attributes to "the good life" is taking advantage of all of the opportunities that we have to get a good education. Neither one of my parents went to college, so it has always been really important to them that both my brother and I graduate from college, giving ourselves more chances to have a good career. I know that when my parents scold me for getting sub-par grades, it is just because they believe in me and know that I can do better and push myself farther. Every day it becomes more and more clear just how important getting a good education is in this country. Not only because it provides a better future, but because we have the chance to reach our full potentials as human beings, and have the ability to change the world because of it.

One theory that we discussed in class that I really believe encompasses many traits of leading a good life would be Kantianism. A Kantian believes that "it is nonnegotiable that people ought to treat others respectfully - as equally worthy (Salazar 1392)." And that "there are duties that people owe to themselves, such as developing their talents, as well as duties owed to others, such as being charitable (Salazar 1392)." Both of these concepts are important principles in my opinion, to be able to say that you lead a good life. 

Don't Regret, Just Live.

Everyone has different outlooks on a meaningful life, and how each individual person behaves is a direct result on what they believe that meaning is. Some people believe that to have a life full of meaning they must never hurt anyone, help others, and never be too selfish. Some people don't have any regard for others and act solely for themselves, and some people just live their lives day to day without a second thought in the world. What it all boils down to is whether or not YOU believe your life has meaning, it is a personal decision and no one can tell you your life does or does not have meaning, except for yourself. 

I personally consider a "good life" to be one filled with friends and family that care about you as much as you care for them. A good life is a life full of company and meaningful relationships, a life where you are not alone. Also, one must be willing to go out of their way to help others, and not only the people they know but just people in general. One cannot have a good life if all they care about is themselves, one must be able to appreciate and enjoy the feeling of random acts of kindness. At only 21 years old I sadly have yet to do anything truly monumental to give my life real meaning, but I hope as I age and grow I find something that I can use both as my career while also helping people in the process. But for now I stick to volunteering at a soup kitchen once or twice a year, trying to help anyone I can when I can, and being their for my friends and family whenever they need me. 

When I graduate college I will be going off to basic training for the United States Army, it is something I have always knew I had to do and now I will finally get the chance. This is where I believe I will find the most meaning for my life, I will be able to give my life some real meaning by protecting my country, seeing the world, and serving my nation. 

I have two basic principles that I abide my life to and they are very simple. One, I try to live my life with no regrets, never second guessing something that has already happened, and never living in the past. Living life without regret leaves a life empty of stress and anxiety. The second principle is to never take life for granted, never forget how truly blessed we are to be on this planet. Sometimes people forget how lucky they are to be alive and healthy, that is a mistake.

A Utilitarian outlook on life is what I believe to be the best outlook. “…one should only benefit oneself only if those acts benefit the whole of conscious life.” (Salazar 1393) One where everyone are equal parts in a big machine and where all people work together for a common good. A life where everyone is happy is a good life. If everyone is acting accordingly to this method, then people will make life decisions regarding others and how others will be affected. This way of life influences caring of one another, and promotes relationships and love. 

Suffering = Courage, Strength, and Joy

Suffering is something we all have experienced at least once in our lives. We may even be suffering from something at this moment. However, suffering doesn't have to be as how it's defined. As mentioned in "The Heart of the Buddha's Teaching" by Hanh, "Our suffering is holy if we embrace it and look deeply into it (9)," our suffering doesn't have to be all sad and depressing. We can make it into something that's not. If we just look deep enough, it can be "holy." Sufferings do exist. One could feel as the word is defined as and not feel holy at all no matter how hard they look deeply into it. When we are free from the suffering, we should enjoy the finer things in life rather than look for other sufferings that could have in impact in the near future. As Hanh also says in the book, "Buddha says that he only wants us to recognize suffering when it is present and to recognize joy when suffering is absent" (21). When the suffering is not there, we should be happy and enjoy what we have and be thankful for it. If we didn't have any suffering, we wouldn't know what things such as activities are defined as joy. We wouldn't be able to truly enjoy something before we experience suffering.

Suffering can come in many different ways from one situation to the next and from one person to another. An example of a suffering that I have experienced was emotional. When I first came to America in 3rd grade, I spoke little to no English. Being at a young age exposed to a totally new environment, I had many difficulties. I've suffered emotional ways because I couldn't understand anything nor say what I wanted to say. From time to time, I was frustrated and possibly even depressed. People would not be able to understand what I went through at that age unless they have experienced it themselves. Not being able to understand what the others say was probably the bigger emotional suffering than others not understanding what I had to say. I've used body language in order to get my point across and the others had to do the same to me. Although useful, body language wasn't able to satisfy all the communication. Not everything could be expressed through body language. I've learned English throughout the school years and now am fluent. I now value the tool of communication very much. It's something that I would not want to lose. As I see other Koreans that came to the United States just like I did, I am able to encourage them and give them tips on how to communicate when they speak little to no English. I have more patience with those who don't speak as much English because I know the frustration and the suffering that they are experiencing. 

Another form of suffering can be something physical such as having a surgery. My dad had an open heart surgery when I was a Freshmen in high school. He went through 2 open heart surgeries within a week apart from one another. When he got out of the surgery and was in the recovery room to wake up from the anesthesia, I went to see him. As he awoke from it, he seemed to be in a lot of pain. He told me how painful it felt when he awoke. He is now fully recovered and doesn't have the pain any longer. While he was recovering at the hospital, he couldn't do much anything. He was just on his bed watching tv or reading a book. He is now able to appreciate being able to freely move around and able to do exercise that he couldn't do in case the stitches were to come off. He is able to understand others who had surgery and be happy for the good health that he has now. Suffering makes us grow stronger, more courageous, and allow us to enjoy what we have.

Is My Good Life the Good Life?

When I am asked, what gives my own life meaning, I would have to respond that it depends on how I was raised from the beginning of my life. Prior to this class I might just give a simple answer such as my friends, family and my potential to help others but would never have thought why. Everything is dependent on my ethical environment which according to Blackburn “is the surrounding climate of ideas about how to live” (Blackburn 1). These ideas on how one should live generate meaning for me.  My parents have always pushed me to do my best and have taught me how to live a moral and fulfilling life at an early age. I was taught how to treat others the way I wanted to be treated and to try and always be respectful. Being smart will hopefully one day bring a positive change to a person’s ethical environment one day, even if I never know them. I feel these ideas gave me the basis on how to see the meaning of my life. If I can pass on what I have been taught and use my knowledge to help others, I would feel like I have lived a fulfilling life. An example from my life is my current job. I am working in a pharmaceutical research laboratory with a focus on cancer research. I have worked long hours, sometimes all night and into the morning, but I was able to publish and am in the process of publishing again. I hope that my findings and discoveries will aid others in developing new medications or treatments for diseases like cancer. 

The next question that needs to be addressed is what basic principles would I like to live my life according to. I have already stated what I feel gives my life meaning but the philosophical background is missing.  However, before I can elaborate on the basic principles that explain how I would like to live my life, is necessary to state that that the principles are not the same for everyone. Relativism is the idea that there is no single truth or moral code. Different groups of people, different nations or different cultures may have different definitions of what is moral and just and what is evil and unethical. In other words, according to Blackburn, “there is no one truth” (Blackburn 19). In my case, I am using relativism simply as a disclaimer to show that just because certain principles guide me on how I feel I should live my life doesn’t, mean that these same principles would apply to others.

The first principle that is a motivating force for me is egoism. Egoism is an idea that describes humans as being “selfish animals” (Blackburn 29). The basis of this idea is that every decision or action we make is to benefit ourselves.  I feel that there is some truth behind this statement but it is not a universal truth.  A second principle that I feel I should live my life according to is Kantianism. Kant argues that “in order to act morally, one must be motivated from duty, seeking to do what is right because it is right, and not from self-interest or sympathy” (Salazar 1393). Another principle is utilitarianism which aims to maximize the happiness of all while reducing suffering as much as possible.  Being so, “one should benefit oneself only if those acts benefit the whole of conscious life” (Salazar 1393). The previous three principles can be applied to my career path which is one day becoming a Doctor of Pharmacy. I have always wanted to improve society and help people in need. I will be able to help people live longer healthier lives and help relieve pain caused by illness or disease. In addition I will one day be able to consult people and help give them peace of mind and be a role model for others. This goal will not be easy to accomplish and it will require hard work, dedication and sacrifice. I firmly believe that this goal is a direct blow to the theory of egoism. I do not feel like I am being selfish in this sense, in fact it is the exact opposite. I am dedicating my life to help others by aiding them in living a longer and healthier life. This also backs up the idea of utilitarianism in my case. By me becoming a Doctor of Pharmacy, I am maximizing the happiness of others that I help. If I were to be lazy and make nothing of my life, then I would not be living a utilitarianistic life. Those people that I could have potentially helped would not have received the medical attention from me and therefore I would not be benefiting society. Finally, I belief that the Kantian philosophy is a principle that I would like to live my life according to. I feel that it is my duty or obligation to pass on what I have been taught to others. It is my duty to try and be successful because my parents have pushed me to work hard and have always wanted me to have a successful life. It is also my duty to live to help others because I feel it would be a waste of my ability if I didn’t.

Based on the factors that give my life meaning and the principles that I want to live my life by, I can try and make a statement on what I think the good life is. The answer is I don’t know. Each and every person has their goals and dreams that they want to fulfill with different motivations behind those goals and dreams. This again is the idea of relativism and that “there is no one truth” behind actions (Blackburn 19). I elaborated on how my definition of the good life is helping others and using my acquired knowledge and positive attributes to do so. Others may see my chosen path in life to not be the best way to live the good life. This is only an opinion and their view point but they do not truly know what is best for me. “What is just or right in the eyes in one [person] may not be so in the eyes of another” (Blackburn 21). For this reason, it would be wrong for me to try and give a universal definition of what the good life entails.

Photo Credit
http://massapequaturkeytrot.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/09/theGoodLife.png
http://www.educa.madrid.org/web/ies.laserna.fuenlabrada/filosofia/proyecto/kant/kant1.jpg

Suffuring Makes Us Stronger

Source:http://thebadactor.blogspot.com/2012/10/

Suffering is an aspect of life we must all endure. In the book “The heart of Buddha’s Teachings” suffering is seen in a new light. Buddhism look at suffering as a learning experience, which helps us, grow and appreciate what we do have. “If you have experienced hunger, you know that having food is a miracle. If you have suffered from the cold you know the preciousness of warmth, when you have suffered you know how to appreciate the elements of paradise.”(Hahn 4) Buddhism uses the four noble truths suffering, arising of suffering, cessation of suffering and how well-being arises, as a way to deal with suffering and how to grow from it. “When we look deeply into any of the four truths we see the other three… When we look deeply into the truth of suffering, we see how to end that suffering and touch well being.”( 45) 

http://www.staceycurnow.com/2011/04/buddha-says/

Like everyone I have experienced times of suffering. One of the hardest times in my life was the death of my grandmother. Loosing my grandmother was incredibly hard as we were so close, but just as Buddhism says I did heal. Through this suffering I grew as a person, I came to better understand the way life works. Most importantly though I feel that this suffering from the loss of my grandmother made me realize how important family is and how I must appreciate and spend time with the family I have while I still can.

Another example of suffering in my life would be my anxiety. When I was younger I suffered terribly with anxiety, it made everyday activities like attending school torture. Through time and patience though I learned to deal with and eventually overcome my anxiety. To this day the suffering I experiences when I was young with my anxiety has helped me become a stronger person, who can overcome just about anything 

What gives meaning to my life? What is the "good life"?

"The only alternative to coexistence is codestruction."
-Jawaharial Nehru

It seems that all aspects of Ethics that have been touched upon in this class so far impact everyone's lives in some way in a general sense. For my life specifically, I would say that the concept of relativism is influential. According to Simon Blackburn in Being Good, the idea of relativism is that "...there is no one truth... only the different truths of different communities" (19). With this being said, I feel that this contributes to my life through my study of religions in high school. I did not take a very in depth course on such a topic but it was incorporated within my global history class. This would be an adequate example as the existence of multiple religions shows that there clearly is not only one truth. If one were to compare Judaism with Buddhism, it would be made apparent that the people of these religious communities have their separate beliefs which they deem to be true. Also, it can not be proven that any one of these truths is, for certain, more correct than another which shows that there is only the different truths of these different communities. Such studies of different communities opens a person's eyes to see that not everyone may agree with your interpretations based on beliefs and experiences as the ultimate truth and that in order to maintain order in the world, a person must be willing to understand another's point of view. People do not have to change what they believe in necessarily, but they must understand that there are varying opinions.

I don't believe that an explanation of what "the good life" is can be easily put into words as again, everyone has their own personal interests, beliefs, and talents. However, I do feel that achieving the best possible form of existence that one can muster would involve determining where your talents lie and using them for the betterment of the world or at least to keep things functioning smoothly. Another aspect of this would involve taking into consideration one's own self-interest and the well-being of others. Thus the concept of egoism is involved within this interpretation. Overall, there should be a balance between the two as only you know how to take care of yourself in the best way possible but you should also be considerate of others. It would be best to acquire skills that not only give your life meaning in the sense that it gives you a way to spend your time but you should also try to use said skills for possibly improving someone else's life in a way that they could not do so on their own. An example from my life pertaining to a way in which a skill can improve  another person's life is through music. From elementary school all the way through graduating from high school, I played the flute. When my school band would play, we often received complements as to how great we sounded and how impressive our performance was. In this case, my skill was used to improve someone's life, if only for a little while, by giving them something to enjoy and possibly take their mind off of their troubles. A musician can provide those that maybe do not have the natural talent to play an instrument the ability to experience music and a kind of feeling that nothing else can provide.

As a way to guide myself to living the best life that I can, I would like to live my life by principles that are a part of Kant's theory and the aspect of a Social Contract. As established in the article "Self-Interest," Kant's theory involves acting morally towards others (Salazar). I believe that a sense of morality should be applied to your actions especially those that directly involve other people. An example from my life that would fit this theory would be that of a beginner's level for sports teams, specifically, field hockey. In middle school I joined my school's field hockey team and at this level every participant was treated with equal worth for the most part and played about the same amount of time during games. Therefore, each person received the same amount of respect and recognition for their efforts. With the concept of a Social Contract, it is understood that humans frequently interact with others and that in order for an individual to thrive, the group through which they are associated must thrive as well (Salazar). This has been exemplified in my life through my ties with my family. If my family is doing well financially, then I am able to personally succeed and do more of what I want to do. However, if something is not going too well back home, it may cause me some struggle in my endeavors.     

Not all Suffering is Bad

Suffering is the main focus in Buddhist ethics. Allowing one’s body to acknowledge suffering and learn from it is the main concept in which Buddha teaches. Buddha praises that, “Without suffering you can’t grow. Without suffering you can’t get to see the peace and joy you deserve.”(Hanh 5) This specifically means that without suffering one is not able to learn and grow from mistakes and is incapable of seeing the little “good” things in life. Buddha truly believes that there needs to be suffering present for there to be happiness. The Four Noble Truths is the background of Buddhist ethics. The Truths include acknowledging a suffering, finding the origin of the suffering, cease from suffering, and the Noble Eightfold Path that includes mindsets that counteract suffering. Though there may always be suffering present in life, through Buddhist ethics that suffering can transform into happiness.
            Suffering is a very broad subject, for different people it means completely different things. I personally know that I was suffering when I lost my very dear grandmother last Christmas. When I found out about her passing I could not cease the tears from rolling down my face. My heart was broken and I couldn’t image not ever seeing her in person again, and what hurt the most was not being able to say bye. I knew that she wouldn’t want me to dwell and suffer from her passing, but rather see all the positive impacts that she had made on my life. Though it was hard not to cry whenever she was brought up and popped into my mind, I know that she would want me to be strong. This taught me to never take any day for granted because there will come a time when there are no more days left to live. I know think about her and smile because I know that she is watching over me and still helping me live the life of my dreams.
            Another example of suffering that I have had in my life is from school. The stress levels from exams, quizzes, lab reports and homework sometimes just become too much. I wallow and think about quitting and want to just cry my worries away. But I recognize every time that all this suffering is just in my head. I over think everything and if I just take one thing at a time everything that I have to accomplish become doable. I think about how lucky I am to be able to attend college and further my education. There are so many people that would love to have to opportunity to be in my shoes but are unable for many different reasons.  Using the Four Noble truths I was able to learn from the suffering and grow. Having a positive mindset allows for so much more accomplishment. Buddha preaches, “Embrace your suffering, and it will reveal to you the way to peace.” (Hanh 5) It is necessary that you embrace the bad days with as much effort as the good days. The bad suffering days is what builds character and allows one to cherish the things that bring happiness to life. Buddhist ethics isn’t about removing all the suffering from life, it’s about embracing the suffering to learn something from it and be able to be thankful for everything that you have.

Suffering: The Central Tenet of Buddhism

 
 Source: http://derekgoodwin.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/01/dukkha.jpg


A Buddhist temple in Taiwan. Source: http://i7.photobucket.com/albums/y281/andrewdarwitan/Scarlet%20Scribbles/130831-fo-guang-shan-buddha-memorial-center-4.jpg


Source: http://www.chinabuddhismencyclopedia.com/en/images/e/e9/Buddha-tripitaka-45i.jpg    
 
        Suffering is one of the central tenets of Buddhist ethics and Buddhism as a whole. The realization of suffering and its consequent transcension is the only way to live a life of happiness/satisfaction. "Suffering," argues Thich Nhat Hanh in "The Heart of the Buddha's Teaching", "is the means the Buddha used to liberate himself, and it is also the means by which we can become free." (3) The Four Noble Truths themselves are founded in suffering: the truth of suffering, the truth of suffering's origin, the truth of the cessation of suffering, and the truth of the path to cease suffering. "Suffering" is the common English translation of the Pali word "dukkha" and "dukkha" itself refers to a nebulous, undesirable state. The first truth is most relevant to us because we solely understand suffering and a few means of reducing it.

        Suffering itself is caused by numerous causes from physical changes (such as aging or illness) to a less-defined dissatisfaction with life. For example, when I had my wisdom teeth extracted a few years ago, I was uncomfortable because I was fatigued, bleeding, and unable to eat the foods I had previously enjoyed. I adapted a helpless, pessimistic attitude to my condition and waited for the day when I could finally say that I had somehow suffered enough. I cherished the first day of this realization and I am aware that I fell into the common "trap" of suffering: celebrating the day when my suffering was perceived to be over and rapidly forgetting the days that I had spent miserable. Other stressors became more relevant to me and that mental experience was discarded. Such suffering was helpful to me later on because I could sympathize with those who shared a similar experience. I had previously scoffed at people who had their wisdom teeth removed and, while I continue to carry mild irritation towards their whining, I can understand their plight more readily. Suffering therefore led to compassion and the consequent realization of satisfaction. Additionally, I remember moments when I was recovering from my operation where I had transient moments of peace. Indeed, in "The Heart of the Buddha's Teaching", Hanh asserts that accepting suffering is the path to peace: "Embrace your suffering and let it reveal to you the path of peace." (5) Embracing suffering means to become cognizant of and welcoming to one's suffering. In my instance, I observed that these "transient moments of peace" arrived at times when it seemed there was nothing beyond the physical sensations of discomfort -- I had no distractions and therefore had to accept my suffering. Embracing this suffering became the only way I could find peace, however ephemeral, in my discomfort.
    
        Another personal instance of suffering's importance was the dissolution of a friendship a few years ago. I enjoyed the company of this individual throughout high school and believed that I would be lifetime friends with him. I idealized our relationship and assumed that I would continue to see him and enjoy his company long after high school. I came to the realization that I had not interacted with this person for a week. I had been busy with work and forgot about him in the chaos of my junior year. I apologized to my friend following that revelation and made plans to see a movie with him and I realized that his presence now bored and irritated me. That was our last "event" together. We never talked again after that incident and I have never interacted with him on Facebook or via similar media. My personal suffering arose because I was frustrated at my ignorance towards the relationship. I had to accept that I was enthralled in other activities and that he and I had consequently "drifted apart." I was only at peace with myself and free of regret once I stopped trying to "make up" for what had happened in the past. I fell into another "trap" concerning suffering: I attempted to "guarantee" that something (in this case, a relationship) would be immutable and experienced distress when it was not. My relationship with this person was continually changing and I failed to understand that it was therefore impermanent and dissoluble like all relationships. I again had to accept my suffering to understand how to change my perspective concerning relationships with everyone. The process has been difficult and it is the way to find such satisfaction as Hanh argues in "The Heart of the Buddha's Teaching": "If we are afraid to touch our suffering, we will not be able to realize the path of peace, joy, and liberation." (45) One must confront his/her suffering to find satisfaction according to Buddhist ethics.

Happiness in Numbers

Living in a society that is so focused on individual flourishing often isolates people and makes them feel lonely, and loneliness often leads to or coincides with depression. Depression rates today are incredibly high; around 10 percent of people in the United States experience serious depression[1]. Because feelings of loneliness often go hand-in-hand with depression, the reason for such a high rate of depression may be because of the isolation we are faced with in society. There are ways in which this loneliness can be prevented, which may result in a happier society overall.

            Philosopher John Rawls writes that, “it is a normal and necessary condition for gaining self-respect and self-esteem that one experience one’s life as respected by others one respects.”[2] In order to have a sense of self-respect and self-esteem, it is necessary for people to feel a sense of community and approval from other people. School can definitely cultivate a sense of community for children, but it often does the opposite. Many children and teens in schools are bullied to the point of feeling helpless, and despite being around plenty of people every day, they can feel incredibly alone. Because our society is mainly focused on individual flourishing, problems like these don’t usually get the attention they need.

            In high school, I often overheard people making jokes about self-harm, saying that, “this person probably cuts himself” or, “this guy is so emo.” As someone who struggled with my own depression, I constantly felt ostracized, like nobody understood what I was going through. I thought that if people were making jokes about something so serious, they must have no idea what it feels like. Though I had friends, I never felt comfortable enough with them to tell them how I was feeling. I felt as if I was the only person in the world who felt the way I felt. Obviously this wasn't true; if 1 in 10 people struggle with depression, I may have known someone who was in the same boat as me, maybe even one of the people who was making jokes about it. But at the time, I didn't have anyone to turn to, and I felt completely alone.

            I know that people everywhere joke about self-harm and suicide, which can make those struggling with it feel alone or embarrassed. An easy solution to this problem would be to require every person to become educated on depression and its symptoms, outcomes, and statistics. It could be taught as a class in school or be a mandatory event in every town and city, but every person should be required to attend. If more people understood about this issue, they may take it more seriously.
                              Some symptoms of depression:
                            
                            Source: www.focuspsychotherapy.com

            Obviously, medication is an option for helping people with depression; around 3 in 100 people take medication for depression [3]. But that can be an expensive and sometimes unhealthy alternative to talk therapy and should be used as a last resort. A healthier way to treating depression could be to require people who are depressed to attend regular meetings of anonymous support groups in school or work. It is important for those who are depressed to know that they aren't the only ones feeling this way, which could help them greatly. These support groups don’t have to be limited to depression; there are plenty of issues people deal with that they don’t always have a chance to talk about, and these groups would be a safe and supportive space for them to talk about their problems. Schools should be required to have more programs which bring people together for mutual support and understanding. This would result in happier lives for individuals and would promote human flourishing.
                         
                         Source: www.cdc.gov

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[1] http://www.cdc.gov/features/dsdepression/

[2] Varieties of Moral Personality: Ethics and Psychological Realism by Owen Flanagan, p.131

[3] http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/demystifying-psychiatry/201101/how-many-people-are-treated-depression

Relationships and Connecting With Others

Creating a Society for Ideal Flourishing

                In our society, a lot of people are faced with real problems that prevent flourishing. These problems can vary greatly and effect people in different ways. I personally believe that connecting with others is one of the most important aspects of human flourishing. Establishing a connection with others consists of a variety of characteristics that define what is considered to be a close relationship. These characteristics can also be considered beneficial to human flourishing. These characteristics include the ability to love and be loved, mutual understanding between parties, validation of self-worth, and are sources of help in times of trouble.[1] Looking at and applying these ideas to a real life problem will help analyze the aspect of human flourishing in more detail. Personally, one of my real life problems is that I lack the ability to feel secure in relationships and to trust in others. This stems from my parents’ divorce. Generally, however, there is a reoccurring problem and this problem is that a lot of kids are growing up in broken homes. This leads to all different types of negative behaviors and feelings. However, there are real solutions that can help to overcome someone’s difficulties when dealing with broken homes.

                Divorce in a family is becoming more and more frequent in the United States but is just one cause in negative feelings in children. One of these negative feelings could include lack of security in a relationship. In order to offer a solution to the lack of security in a relationship, one must look at some of the causes of these insecurities. Using these causes will help develop a reasonable solution that would benefit the individual. Personally, what I lack is the stability of any type of romantic relationship which, in my case, led to having a cynical view on any and all relationships that I come across. For as long as I can remember, my parents have hated each other and the only memory I have of the two of them living together is of them in the kitchen yelling at each other. To add on to the lack of stability, my dad has gone through about ten different girlfriends, all of which I can name, in the fifteen years that my parents have been divorced. Just as well, my brother is thirty years old and has yet to have a stable girlfriend since high school. I had gone through countless relationship problems and the last straw for me is currently watching my sister having marital problems with the possibility of divorce. All of these examples of instability in my life contribute to the idea that I am unaware of what a relationship is supposed to be. This interferes with the aspect of flourishing that deals with connecting with others by disrupting some of the characteristics of a close relationship. This, in turn, affects my own personal flourishing. Looking at Figure 1, it compares different feelings in children of divorced parents and parents that are still married. Although most of the negative statements corresponded with divorced parents, there is still a significant amount of kids that had felt some of these negative feelings as well. This leads into the next, and more generalized, point: children of broken homes.

                Just because a family has parents that are married does not mean that the family is healthy and flourishing. There are plenty of families in which there is physical or emotional abuse, excessive drug use or other extenuating circumstances. These different stressors can cause physical and emotional pain in children. Most research, however, has been done in comparing broken homes that involve divorced, being widowed or other similar types of circumstances and non-broken homes. Little to no studies has taken family life into account. It is from the personal experience of a grade school friend of mine that I say that the different types of stressors can cause negativity in a child’s life. In this person’s childhood, there were physical and emotional abuses present as well as one of the parents being jailed for an extensive amount of time. In her later years, this child had severe emotional inconsistencies, such as depression, and had trouble socially. The parents stayed married for quite some time but clearly, things were not up to a normal standard in society. One can bring the conclusion that this child’s emotional disturbances stemmed from the type of broken home inhabited.

                However, there are things that can be done to help children in these different circumstances. For instance, there is counseling available to help children deal with whatever it is they are going through. All schools I have encountered have had some sort of counseling center but it is severely underused. Some people may feel more comfortable around their peers. For this reason, support groups would be the better option for kids. There is a support group for children of divorce in many countries. The group is called Divorce Care for Kids and the way it works is someone can type in their zip code and it gives a few of the closest groups that meet and when they meet. In these groups, children “learn to understand their feelings, express their emotions appropriately, feel better about themselves, develop coping skills, and be introduced to biblical concepts that will bring comfort.”[2] More generally, there is a support group, specifically on Long Island, that serves all different kinds of kids in all different ways and cater to their specific needs. This group is called Family & Children’s and their website is http://www.familyandchildrens.org/index.php. These groups are specifically designed to help children deal with whatever problems they face and there are a lot of them out there. Any kid can go to one of these groups. Just as well, anyone can start their own support group. Go in their local community and spread the word about starting a support group for your peers. You never know how much good you can do until you try.

 

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[1] "Connecting: Social Connections & Happiness." PBS. PBS, n.d. Web. 11 Nov. 2013.

[2] "DivorceCare for Kids Divorce Recovery Support Groups for Children." DivorceCare for Kids Divorce Recovery Support Groups for Children. N.p., n.d. Web. 15 Nov. 2013.