Creating a Society for Ideal Flourishing
In
our society, a lot of people are faced with real problems that prevent
flourishing. These problems can vary greatly and effect people in different
ways. I personally believe that connecting with others is one of the most
important aspects of human flourishing. Establishing a connection with others
consists of a variety of characteristics that define what is considered to be a
close relationship. These characteristics can also be considered beneficial to
human flourishing. These characteristics include the ability to love and be
loved, mutual understanding between parties, validation of self-worth, and are sources
of help in times of trouble.[1]
Looking at and applying these ideas to a real life problem will help analyze
the aspect of human flourishing in more detail. Personally, one of my real life
problems is that I lack the ability to feel secure in relationships and to
trust in others. This stems from my parents’ divorce. Generally, however, there
is a reoccurring problem and this problem is that a lot of kids are growing up
in broken homes. This leads to all different types of negative behaviors and
feelings. However, there are real solutions that can help to overcome someone’s
difficulties when dealing with broken homes.
Divorce
in a family is becoming more and more frequent in the United States but is just
one cause in negative feelings in children. One of these negative feelings
could include lack of security in a relationship. In order to offer a solution
to the lack of security in a relationship, one must look at some of the causes
of these insecurities. Using these causes will help develop a reasonable
solution that would benefit the individual. Personally, what I lack is the
stability of any type of romantic relationship which, in my case, led to having
a cynical view on any and all relationships that I come across. For as long as
I can remember, my parents have hated each other and the only memory I have of
the two of them living together is of them in the kitchen yelling at each
other. To add on to the lack of stability, my dad has gone through about ten
different girlfriends, all of which I can name, in the fifteen years that my
parents have been divorced. Just as well, my brother is thirty years old and
has yet to have a stable girlfriend since high school. I had gone through
countless relationship problems and the last straw for me is currently watching
my sister having marital problems with the possibility of divorce. All of these
examples of instability in my life contribute to the idea that I am unaware of
what a relationship is supposed to be. This interferes with the aspect of
flourishing that deals with connecting with others by disrupting some of the
characteristics of a close relationship. This, in turn, affects my own personal
flourishing. Looking at Figure 1, it compares different feelings in children of
divorced parents and parents that are still married. Although most of the
negative statements corresponded with divorced parents, there is still a
significant amount of kids that had felt some of these negative feelings as
well. This leads into the next, and more generalized, point: children of broken
homes.
Just
because a family has parents that are married does not mean that the family is
healthy and flourishing. There are plenty of families in which there is
physical or emotional abuse, excessive drug use or other extenuating
circumstances. These different stressors can cause physical and emotional pain
in children. Most research, however, has been done in comparing broken homes
that involve divorced, being widowed or other similar types of circumstances
and non-broken homes. Little to no studies has taken family life into account.
It is from the personal experience of a grade school friend of mine that I say
that the different types of stressors can cause negativity in a child’s life. In
this person’s childhood, there were physical and emotional abuses present as
well as one of the parents being jailed for an extensive amount of time. In her
later years, this child had severe emotional inconsistencies, such as
depression, and had trouble socially. The parents stayed married for quite some
time but clearly, things were not up to a normal standard in society. One can
bring the conclusion that this child’s emotional disturbances stemmed from the type
of broken home inhabited.
However,
there are things that can be done to help children in these different
circumstances. For instance, there is counseling available to help children
deal with whatever it is they are going through. All schools I have encountered
have had some sort of counseling center but it is severely underused. Some people
may feel more comfortable around their peers. For this reason, support groups
would be the better option for kids. There is a support group for children of
divorce in many countries. The group is called Divorce Care for Kids and the
way it works is someone can type in their zip code and it gives a few of the
closest groups that meet and when they meet. In these groups, children “learn
to understand their feelings, express their emotions appropriately, feel better
about themselves, develop coping skills, and be introduced to biblical concepts
that will bring comfort.”[2]
More generally, there is a support group, specifically on Long Island, that
serves all different kinds of kids in all different ways and cater to their
specific needs. This group is called Family & Children’s and their website
is http://www.familyandchildrens.org/index.php.
These groups are specifically designed to help children deal with whatever
problems they face and there are a lot of them out there. Any kid can go to one
of these groups. Just as well, anyone can start their own support group. Go in
their local community and spread the word about starting a support group for
your peers. You never know how much good you can do until you try.
[2] "DivorceCare for Kids Divorce
Recovery Support Groups for Children." DivorceCare for Kids Divorce Recovery Support Groups for
Children. N.p., n.d. Web.
15 Nov. 2013.
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