When we are
young, we think that we will live forever. We think that everything around us
is going to stay the same; that nothing will change. As we get older, we come
to realize that such notions are not feasible. Through our experiences, we
learn that change is inevitable. The sooner we accept that concept, the easier
it is to accept change. This general principle is known as Impermanence in
Buddhism. More specifically, Impermanence stresses that nothing is permanent;
everything in the world is subject to change (Hanh, 131). For example, flowers decompose, loved ones
pass away, we are not always in good health. These are changes that cannot be
avoided. While such a notion sounds depressing, it really isn’t. Having this
knowledge that everything can change at any instant makes us appreciate what we
have, “when we know that the person we love is impermanent, we will cherish our
beloved all the more” (Hanh, 132). Impermanence is also crucial to our life
today. Impermanence allows us to grow. Without impermanence, we would never
change; it “makes transformations possible” (Hanh, 133). As a whole,
impermanence “helps us appreciate fully what is there, without attachment or
forgetfulness” (Hanh, 133). When we embrace impermanence, we become more at
peace with the world around us and value everything in our lives all the more.
|
Congregational Church Fire |
When
thinking of the general concept of impermanence in my own life, many examples
come to mind. I can remember when I was younger, at a sporting event, I would
always hear the bell tower from the Congregational Church in the center of town
ring every hour. I can remember appreciating the tune and always thinking about
how it made my town more welcoming. Driving into town, we would always see the
steeple at the top of the hill, and to me, that was a very characteristic aspect
to my town. The church had been there as long as anyone could remember. In a
sense, it held a lot of my town’s identity. A couple of years ago, the church
caught on fire and burned down. It was an arsony case. Many people stood on the
streets at 2 in the morning gaping in horror at the sight. This wasn’t just a
parish loss, but a community loss. I did not realize how much I loved that church
until it was gone. Now, the church is almost entirely rebuilt to its former
glory. I personally, cannot wait until I hear it chime the hour again. In this
case, the impermanence made me appreciate and treasure the Somers
Congregational Church.
|
Nick and Me, Fall 2011 |
As I had
said before, when we are young, we tend to think that we will live forever.
Death is not something that we, as teenagers, think about often. The first time
I faced a death of someone I knew well was last year. It wasn’t an older
relative, in fact, this death was very sudden and unexpected. His name was Nick
Coleman. Through my senior year, the two of us grew to be very good friends,
talking all of the time. Nick and I were very close. Going into the summer, we
lost touch and the last time I saw him was my grad party. I always thought that
later on, we would be able to catch up over coffee; talk about life and
everything that has happened since. Unfortunately, I never got that
opportunity. On October 11, 2012, Nick blacked out at the car wheel (due to low
blood sugar) and crashed his car into a tree just over the town border into
East Longmeadow. He died the next day. This was a change I never expected. In a
small town like mine, unexplained deaths like that don’t happen. After getting
over the shock, I felt grief, then regret. I regretted allowing us to grow
apart. I regretted not telling him how much I cared about him and how I
appreciated his friendship. Nick’s death taught me what impermanence is trying
to stress: change is inevitable. When we accept that change can happen, we will
value the times we have and have fewer regrets when that change does happen. If
I had an “impermanent mindset” when Nick and I were friends, I would not have
the regrets I do. However, Nick’s death taught me to appreciate my friends and
to tell them that. My friends all know how much I appreciate them, and Nick is
a big reason why. Nothing is permanent or guaranteed. I know that now and I am
happier with my life now because of it.
Citation:
Nhá̂t, Hạnh. The
Heart of the Buddha's Teaching: Transforming Suffering into Peace, Joy &
Liberation. New York: Broadway, 1999. Print.
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