Monday, December 9, 2013

When Flowers Die, Memories Still Live



        
         The Three Dharma Seals are impermanence, nonself, and nirvana. Impermanence has a lot to do with your view of your surroundings, how you understand the importance of the things in your life. The understanding that all things, no matter how important or cherished they are, will not be a part of your life forever. Suffering occurs without the presence of mindful impermanence because "What makes us suffer is wanting things to be permanent when they are not (132)." Impermanence is an understanding of the reality of life, and this mindset of impermanence helps to avoid these types of suffering, and change it into appreciation of these parts of your life while they are still present.
          
           Impermanence is one of the hardest concepts to grasp in my opinion. I believe that it is hard to find the balance between not caring at all and holding onto something too much. Most of the time, I put way too much of myself into things I know are going to end. This works for both unimportant things and significant aspects of my life. I know once these things are gone if I could have appreciated them in a different way I would not be suffering with the absence of them.
                
           One example of a silly thing I struggle with understanding the impermanence of is flowers. If I ever get a bouquet of flowers from my boyfriend I will keep them until they are crispy and dead; I just can't bring myself to throw them away. To me, the flowers represent a special date or a significant moment in my life and without them constantly reminding me I worry the memory will disappear. One weekend I walked in to my roommate throwing out my dead flowers and got very upset. However, I then reminded myself that the memory of that moment or that event is still with me, I don't need the flowers to remind me.
                 
           Another thing I believe a lot of people struggle with in this time period is the contents of their phones. Accidents happen, and sometimes the photos and texts kept saved in your phones are lost. It may seem silly, but these photos and words can have a big effect on the people losing them. When I switched from the droid to an iPhone, my voicemails were unable to transfer. Although I did not need any of the information left on the voicemails in my daily life, and I barely listened to them anymore, they were little pieces of memories I had saved from up to 6 years ago that I did not want to lose. Once I could accept that they were erased, I was able to realize that I could remember them and talk about them without actually having them at hand.
                
          With acceptance of impermanence comes the appreciation of the mind and it's ability to retain more information than you think. Memories are a powerful thing, something you can always return to in your mind in a split second. It is important to be able to appreciate things in your life and realize that the memories you are allowing your mind to create will stay with you. Also, you must be able to allow yourself to make these memories knowing things are impermanent, because the memories keep it all alive in the vaults of your mind.

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